Will having unconditional permission to eat all foods cause me to binge eat forever?

I remember when I was searching for answers to stop binge eating for good and I read about “unconditional permission to eat all foods.” I thought,

“if I do that, I will just binge for the rest of my life and gain weight forever.”

And I’m guessing that was your first gut reaction when you read about unconditional permission to eat, too. But the truth is (which I learned from studying nutrition AND applying it to myself and my clients) unconditional permission to eat is simply permission. That’s all. Meaning you have the permission to eat the donut, or not! You can order the salad, or not! You can go for a run, or not! You have permission to listen to your body.

When we have unconditional permission and can trust our body, we aren’t simply listening to hunger/fullness and desires, we are balancing a mind-body connection. This is not something we are taught in diet culture. We are taught rules, discipline, and structure all outside of ourselves. Because that’s what we’ve been taught, there will be a lot of unlearning and relearning to find that balance, which usually includes a lot of what feels like “messing up.” You overeat, you eat a lot of pizza, you feel miserable, and you cant seem to find this “balance” everyone is talking about! But that’s because it’s an exploration, trial-and-error, which takes time (unfortunately, which is out of our control and makes us very impatient).

If you can sit through the discomfort of the early stages of “unconditional permission to eat,” you’ll find that what you learn about listening to your body will prevent you from ever needing to diet again, and here’s why:

Listening to your body is a balance of:

Physical needs: Hunger, fullness, taste, thirst, feelings, and energy.

And

Psychological needs: Preferences, practicality, wants, needs, enjoyment, ability/access, health values, and emotions.

Food is not simply a token of fuel for our body, it IS psychological. So when I say “listen to your body,” that includes your mind.

WITH full unconditional permission to eat, listening to your body goes something like this:

“Ooo I really want a donut that my coworker brought in, I know I would enjoy that! I know when I eat them though I always get a headache, so maybe I’ll enjoy half with my lunch.”

In this case, there’s a balance of honoring a want/enjoyment with the feeling the donut would give. Listening to the body.

“I had such a hard day and just want  mac and cheese, but I haven’t had anything green in like a week and I know the salad here is so delicious. I’ll have both!”

Here, emotionally some mac and cheese would really hit the spot, but some health values are on their mind as well. You can balance both needs, and sometimes you might sacrifice one for the other and that’s up to what feels best in that moment!

All in all, if you’re still working on unconditional permission to eat to stop restricting, sit there for awhile. There is NO NEED to try to find some unrealistic form of balance while you’re healing. Give yourself time and space to unlearn and relearn what listening to your body means for YOU with full trust and attunement. 

Reviewed and Edited by Kaitlyn Allen MS, MEd, MS, RD